One of my biggest realizations in this journey towards minimalism has been the value of looking inward vs outward.
I was spending so much time just treading water by cleaning the house, kitchen, or kids art room only to have it be a disaster again in short order.
Of course it was! It’s no one’s fault but my own that I was battling against life in the most used areas of the house.
The frustration was immense and I honestly remember thinking “I don’t even have time to clean up after myself, I’m too busy cleaning up after everyone else!”
My OCD was getting in the way of a true plan, so I’ll say it again,
Cleaning up after the kids is a treadmill, minimizing yourself is forever.
There’s such an important distinction between cleaning or tidying and minimizing.
I was cleaning. And cleaning. And cleaning.
More importantly, I was really just using everyone else’s stuff as an excuse to not manage my own clutter. Plus, it’s so much easier to throw other people’s stuff away! There’s zero emotional attachment.
My stuff is stuff. Theirs is just crap.
Anyway, so what does this have to do with scoring a win in the kids room?
Well, I’ll tell ya!
In the recent weeks, I really focused on letting go of worrying about everyone else’s stuff and just focusing on my own. Of course I still have to tell the kids to clean up, but there’s a bit less about everyone getting rid of everything.
I’ve also talked a lot, when it fits the conversation, about the benefits that I personally have experienced by letting go of these possessions, keeping my personal spaces clutter-free and simple.
More subtle, less a clunk over the head (my wife may have some comments about the ‘subtlety’, but it’s all a matter of degrees).
I’m just really trying to get my own house in order. I’ve sold some things on Craigslist, gone through some old paperwork, and continued combing through the closet.
So the other day, not intentionally, but just because of the busy pace of life with school and everything, the kids had literally run their closet down to where they were grabbing clothes out of the hamper for school.
I know. Not good. You don’t want to be the stinky kid in school.
Now keep in mind that there were still plenty of clothes in their closet, just not stuff they were willing to wear or didn’t like for whatever reason.
Just like anyone else, they go to their favorite clothes first and work down the line.
The perfect opportunity to declutter!
The opportunity to declutter the kids closet could not have been more natural.
At this point, anything left in that closet is either seasonally inappropriate or more likely something that they will NEVER wear.
It’s uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit. It’s torn. I just don’t like it. Whatever!
While I was folding their clean clothes and piling up shirts to be hung I just told them to go and each grab five things that they know they will never wear and get it out of the closet.
Of course, they easily did twice that.
It was easy, not stressful. In fact, you could tell they loved getting rid of this stuff, because now I won’t tell them to put on a shirt they hate.
The clean laundry with all their favorite things went back in the closet that much easier.
Amazing!
Set up for the easy wins.
I believe this easy win came about for several reasons. It was more than just recognizing the opportunity that their closet was empty.
It was actually set up by focusing on myself.
The kids have been watching me get my closet in order and continuing to pare it down further and further. Don’t think they aren’t noticing this stuff. As parents all know, our actions have so much more impact than our words.
They saw me sell some snowboards, items I really like, on Craigslist and couldn’t believe I would do that.
These were natural opportunities to explain to them that now that gear will get used by someone who will really enjoy it instead of just collecting dust. Also, we talk a lot about waste and recycling and that this really is the best form of recycling.
I got to do all of this without it being a lecture.
I also got to show them the cash. Kids love cash.
Finally, I haven’t been beating them up (as much) about all their stuff. Art room is trashed? Oh well. I don’t hang out in there and I’ve got my own clutter problems to deal with.
What a win!
The result was a low-key, spontaneous decluttering that will give some breathing room in a real trouble area for us.
Anyone else have cramped kids closets?
I’m not saying there’s not room to go further, but I will say that the difference getting ready for school the next morning was absolutely noticeable.
A closet full of things you love, what’s not to like about that?
Sounds like someone else I know 😉